[fundraising] Fundraising Email Draft

[Merelice]

Hi,
My apologies for the slowness of my response. Making a gradual
transition from one email service to another has been more confusing
than I expected. I gather that Jamie is working on a revision of his
draft email letter, based in part on Grace's suggestions. Did Grace
post her suggestions to the list and I missed it in my email
transition?

Thanks much, Jamie, for fitting this in to your schedule and drafting
such a substantive letter.

I agree with Brian that the letter seemed a little long (and maybe a
bit repetitious). I realize the usual rule for a speech is "Tell 'em
what you're going to tell 'em; tell 'em; tell 'em what you told 'em."
So repetition isn't all bad. But scrolling down an email is harder
than skimming a printed letter and email readers might not be so
patient. Also, printed letters are formatted so certain messages stand
out and the letter doesn't look grey and boring, which is harder to do
with an email letter.

FYI: The March to Abolish Poverty was for the second consecutive year.
Since there has been discussion about not doing it every year, maybe
the reference could be something like, "Again this year...."

A couple of minor points: Try for parallel construction of the
bullets. For example, start with the same form of a word:
"identifying" and "searching" and "determining."

In the P.S., put a significant message related to the content of the
letter or something upbeat like best wishes for the new year and how
they can help us make it a better year. The info about how to remove
their name from the database could simply be a footnote at the bottom
and not labeled a P.S. which usually contains a main thought to end
on.
Merelice

On 12/11/05, Jamie O'Keefe <jokeefe at jamesokeefe.org> wrote:
> > I think that this letter(s) below look great. It might be a bit too long but
> > otherwise nice. I think that we should be sending it out soon since we are
> > in December and it's a great time to ask for donations.
>
> Grace had some suggestions I need to integrate it.  Been busy cleaning
> out my mother-in-law's house.
>
> > Jamie, have you recieved the lists yet?
>
> No.
>
> > Is there a need to do more drafts of this letter?
>
> I will put one more together by Tuesday. We should have it out on
> Wednesday/Thursday, assuming I get the lists.
>
> Jamie
> _______________________________________________
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> fundraising at green-rainbow.org
> http://www.green-rainbow.org/mailman/listinfo/fundraising
>